Thursday, January 15, 2009

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

I don't know what is going on, maybe the stars are aligned weird, but today was a bad fashion day for me. I clicked around for to-die-for Spring RTW 09 lines and got nothin'. Even our beloved Alexander Wang sent hideous looks down the runway.

I have so many questions! What is this? A lace bodysuit under leather gym shorts and a sleeveless oversized hoodie? Is she wearing a kofia? And those shoes are just wrong. Why is she all sweaty looking?

Next I checked out Hermes.... All I can say is "Ugh."

It looks like a really cheap Halloween costume that is missing its pants. The color is awful, the cut is horrendous, and the short, thick fringe is unflattering. Jean Paul Gaultier can pump out some pretty weird stuff, but come on, dude. This is HERMES you're designing for. Please, can we leave behind the performance art and bring along some class? The collection wasn't all bad. There is one gown, a lovely moss green floor length number, worn with a cognac leather hat, that looks pretty. 

See??? Why can't the whole collection have looked like this? It's flattering, the asymmetry of the halter is eye-catching, and the color pops. Somehow, this look is an anomaly in a sea of tacky. Way to go, JPG. At least your fragrance rules.

What else... Chloe was a snooze. Boring x 10 with a couple exceptions. 

I don't like leather shorts, especially in candy apple red...

...But I do love metallics!!!

Miu Miu had some gems...

...despite the burlap sacks...

...and ugly prints.

Their makeup is just way too harsh and makes the models look old and tired. Ooh! I know what it reminds me of! Bette Davis in "What Ever Happened To Baby Jane?"! Moving on...

Alexander McQueen handed over a mixed bag. While I am intrigued by his inspiration (Charles Darwin; natural selection), it comes down to what looks good and what doesn't. 

I LOATHE this look. It's so Jurassic Park the Musical. It shrieks, "I am the Lizard Queen!!!" which is really not a good thing. I hope that if my cat saw this in the backyard, he would attack it, remove its legs, and leave it in my closet. So I could burn it. Hideous.

Next is this weird wood print. It reminds me of a Brahmin Moth. (My dad would be so proud.) It grosses me out, and I really don't like how the print accentuates the crotch region. It's too Georgia O'Keefe for me, like, we already know where that is, thank you.

Obviously, I die for this look. You already know I love fringe, and this is done waaay better than Jil Sander. It's great, I love it, that's it. 

Lastly, I am really into these kaleidoscopic crystal healer dresses. I prefer the bright ones to the subtle ones; if you're printing gemstones on fabric, anything less than garish looks bland. 

Hopefully over my long weekend I will spy some collections I actually like as a whole. Rachel and I are both so underwhelmed by this season and we really welcome your suggestions.

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