Friday, January 30, 2009

L'Enfant Assassin Des Mouches

Well, school is back in session pour moi, which means two nights a week of French. While my classmates are horrifically style-impaired (excepting my dear friend Cassie), a fabulous fashion discovery did come from something we discussed en cours.

For some reason, we were asked to identify famous Frenchmen/women, and the ever sexy Serge Gainsbourg was on the worksheet. Somehow, I was the only student who knew his work... When I asserted just how handsome I find him to be, le Prof decided to start watching videos of Serge on YouTube. Inspired, I ran home to do more "research" and looked up Serge's musical arranger, Jean-Claude Vannier. I have his record, "L'Enfant Assassin Des Mouches" (The Child Killer of the Flies) and love it. In this video, Vannier's band, Insolitudes, is playing a song from the record, live, for an Yves Saint-Laurent fashion show on the Roland Petit Show. It's like a precursor to Fashion Rocks. 

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Lovers Who Uncover

Daydream Nation "Love is Blind" Necklace, $187

Tutu Blu "Color Block Mesh Dress", $172

Interlud "Cupcake Blouse", $128

Valentine's Day is fast approaching, and while I don't usually celebrate (my birthday is four days later, a holiday I much prefer), these new heart-shaped offerings at Pixie Market have me wondering how I can stealthily trick the boyfriend into getting all mushy with me over it. If that fails, I always have my cat. 

Never Want to Put My Feet Back Down on the Ground

This is so Grey Gardens, I'm in love! I've been thinking about getting a longer fur coat like this one for a while now and this now makes that acquisition compulsory.

In other news...

They finally came!

And they are beautiful...I do apologize for the crappy photo quality. My next big purchase is going to be a fancy new point and click. I also added photos of my newly acquired Vena Cava dress (sparing you more bad photo quality).

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Those Are Not Pants

I really hate to break it to you, Saks, but LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS. No no no, leggings are Active Wear. They are good for wearing to the gym, or to go running in, or.... for other forms of exercise. They may also be worn for sleeping. Unfortunately for you, Saks, and "Kova & T", one role this ever-so-versatile garment can never play is pants. 

What makes this advertisement even more heinous is the fact that these leggings are stirrups. Yes, stirrups! American Apparel, purveyor of all things hideous, already failed in their attempts at bringing stirrups back. Stirrups are quite possibly the least flattering design ever to hit the lower body. It is a sad truth that a gross majority of America's population does not have the thighs to wear skintight cotton spandex in lieu of its more forgiving cousin, denim. Not only are stirrups made from the same flaw-enhancing fabric as leggings, but the actual "stirrup" part of the design serves only to constantly pull themselves down! What we have then, is a saggy undergarment that displays your cellulite, all the while creating a weird and unattractive ripple effect around your ankles because there is not enough elastic in that region to shrink to fit the natural curve beneath the ankle. The only way I could see this problem being eradicated is if the stirrup-wearer has cankles, in which case they should be wearing pants that hide, instead of accentuate, this unfortunate leg defect.

I was convinced that every fashion hound innately knew that leggings and pants are of different genera, but Saks 5th Avenue has proved me wrong. Please, do not follow the misguided direction of the Saks website stylist, and never choose leggings instead of pants. And whatever you do, DO NOT wear heels with gym clothes.

Friday, January 23, 2009

The Kids Want A Little Action

Say WHAAAAAAAAAT???? Alexander McQueen for TARGET!? Ohhh, sweet baby Jesus I am so ready. Thakoon's line for Target was terrifically boring, and before that, my favorite mass retailer went through a design dry spell for months. This is probably the best collaboration possible to win back our fashion-addicted, bargain-hungry hearts.

The line, entitled McQ (which, for some reason, I read as M-C-Q, hence the MC5 reference in the title), explodes into stores, then out of stores and into my closet, this March. That's perfect, seeing as how Rachel and I will be scraping around for dough after our respective trips to New York and San Francisco next month... 

The line features shirts, dresses, circle skirts, jeans, shorts, bathing suits, jackets, and vests, all designed with that "rebellious, nostalgic flare." McQueen took inspiration from his muse, Leila Moss, and her band the Duke Spirit, whose distorted blues sound brings to mind a gritty road trip to nowhere with the wind whipping through your hair and few places to bathe. McQ's sensibility is a little punk, a little fem, and a LOT of McQueen. The devil is in the details, like in the sleeveless button up with bondage-y straps, or the one-shoulder dress with criss-crossed draping and a wide black sash holding it all in. The palate of grey, charcoal, and black stays true to McQueen's typical downtown aesthetic, with bursts of color in shades of electric blue and hot pink.

That grey motorcycle jacket with double lapels is going to be mine this spring... so, in the immortal words of the MC5, you better get out of the way. 

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Legends of the Fall

Pendleton, makers of your Great-Grandfather's favorite plaid flannels, have just teamed up with ultra-cool label Opening Ceremony for a fresh new take on their utilitarian wares for their 100th anniversary. 

I, for one, am not always very mad for plaid, but these re-worked classics can bypass the bonfires and hit the boutiques. Check out the 23 styles being offered, and snatch them up when they come out in August... just in time for the brisk winds of fall.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

I will be patient...

While I patiently await the arrival of my Miu Miu lighting bolt heels, I've been searching for outfits for my upcoming New York trip. The search is doubly complicated by the nature of the trip: it's my first work trip & we'll be attending Toy Fair. If I had millions of dollars, I'd invest in the classy Giles Deacon and naughty librarian chic by Charles Anastase. (I added a photo of Charles Anastase's muse, Valentine Fillol-Cordier because she's just really fucking pretty).

Giles Deacon

These Darth Vader-style helmets are out of this world. I love that he paired them with gorgeous little dresses. I'm not crazy about the shoes and some of his models had really scary, ghostly makeup (hence, I cropped the 3rd model's head out of the photo).

Charles Anastase

Pretty, pretty, pretty...His models are completely awkward and beyond gorgeous. Those visible garter belts are FANTASTIC. If only I had the thighs...

The Muse

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Inauguration Song

This morning marks one of the most important days in American history. Will the fashion be up to par?

Gone are the days of White House couturiers, such as Jackie Kennedy's personal designer, Oleg Cassini. (Cassini is perhaps best known by today's younger set for his sequined tops peppering thrift- and vintage-stores, rather than his smart First Lady ensembles.) Nay, soon-to-be First Lady Michelle Obama is not loyal to one specific designer, but to style in general. This morning, Michelle rocked a gold shift and matching coat by designer Isabel Toledo. Nicely done, Mrs. O!

All the men wore suits (snooze) and unless they're Dior Homme, they always look the same, so who cares? Grandpa Cheney, however, pulled a muscle in his back while lifting a box while moving out of the VP mansion, so his fashion statement was a wheelchair. Good one, Pops.

Filmmaker Spike Lee was in the crowd, wearing what might be the ugliest hat ever. Evidently he's worn this before?

Of course, because it's freezing in DC, he had the earflaps down. I am pretty much speechless about how ridiculous he looks. And it's not even real fur!

Well, that does it for my Inauguration fashion assessment. I am totally stoked that Bushypoo is dunzo and hot Barack Obama is our new Mr. President. Hopefully Sasha and Malia won't give us as much grief as those naughty Bush girls.

P.S. What the fuck is that amazing hat Aretha is wearing!? No pictures online yet, but holy cow, she has a huge silver bow on top of her face! Yesss.....

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Wish List

Vena Cava continues to blow us away with beautiful, inventive pieces. Rachel bought a gorgeous V.C. dress yesterday (we'll post our recent acquisitions soon!) and I am dying for this: 

Beautiful. Silk, Limited Edition, printed with a hot lady's nude form... what more could you want from a dress? At $211 on sale, I'm wondering why it's not in my closet.... Oh yeah, rent.

Rodarte's SS 09 show didn't break my "I like it, but not that much" streak, however they did feature some pretty awesome clothes.

While I'm not in the market for an ethereal gown, like the gorgeously artistic one shown above, I am on the look-out for a good leather jacket. I have one that's okay, but I need a motorcycle cut. I love that Rodarte's interpretation of the classic style has a vertical zipper instead of a diagonal one, but keeps the wide collar. I would most certainly pair that jacket with the Vena Cava dress, black tights, and these shoes:
The straps on these Dolce Vita Chastity heels compliment the S&M look perfectly (after all, the Vena Cava dress was created for OAK's "Bondage" event), and what's more conceptually synonymous with sexual domination than leather? The perfect place to wear this digital dream outfit would be a leather bar... Wolf's, why did you have to close???

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Circular Logic

Christopher Kane's 2009 Spring line leaves something to be desired as an entire line, but the incredibly crafted cutout dresses remind me of paper doll outfits: they're stunningly detailed and look like they will fall apart if you play with them for too long. But never fear, these pieces are for 3D ladies. They're uber modern with their geometric shapes and I can see Kane's creations on everyone from rock stars to briefcase toting office foxes.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

I don't know what is going on, maybe the stars are aligned weird, but today was a bad fashion day for me. I clicked around for to-die-for Spring RTW 09 lines and got nothin'. Even our beloved Alexander Wang sent hideous looks down the runway.

I have so many questions! What is this? A lace bodysuit under leather gym shorts and a sleeveless oversized hoodie? Is she wearing a kofia? And those shoes are just wrong. Why is she all sweaty looking?

Next I checked out Hermes.... All I can say is "Ugh."

It looks like a really cheap Halloween costume that is missing its pants. The color is awful, the cut is horrendous, and the short, thick fringe is unflattering. Jean Paul Gaultier can pump out some pretty weird stuff, but come on, dude. This is HERMES you're designing for. Please, can we leave behind the performance art and bring along some class? The collection wasn't all bad. There is one gown, a lovely moss green floor length number, worn with a cognac leather hat, that looks pretty. 

See??? Why can't the whole collection have looked like this? It's flattering, the asymmetry of the halter is eye-catching, and the color pops. Somehow, this look is an anomaly in a sea of tacky. Way to go, JPG. At least your fragrance rules.

What else... Chloe was a snooze. Boring x 10 with a couple exceptions. 

I don't like leather shorts, especially in candy apple red...

...But I do love metallics!!!

Miu Miu had some gems...

...despite the burlap sacks...

...and ugly prints.

Their makeup is just way too harsh and makes the models look old and tired. Ooh! I know what it reminds me of! Bette Davis in "What Ever Happened To Baby Jane?"! Moving on...

Alexander McQueen handed over a mixed bag. While I am intrigued by his inspiration (Charles Darwin; natural selection), it comes down to what looks good and what doesn't. 

I LOATHE this look. It's so Jurassic Park the Musical. It shrieks, "I am the Lizard Queen!!!" which is really not a good thing. I hope that if my cat saw this in the backyard, he would attack it, remove its legs, and leave it in my closet. So I could burn it. Hideous.

Next is this weird wood print. It reminds me of a Brahmin Moth. (My dad would be so proud.) It grosses me out, and I really don't like how the print accentuates the crotch region. It's too Georgia O'Keefe for me, like, we already know where that is, thank you.

Obviously, I die for this look. You already know I love fringe, and this is done waaay better than Jil Sander. It's great, I love it, that's it. 

Lastly, I am really into these kaleidoscopic crystal healer dresses. I prefer the bright ones to the subtle ones; if you're printing gemstones on fabric, anything less than garish looks bland. 

Hopefully over my long weekend I will spy some collections I actually like as a whole. Rachel and I are both so underwhelmed by this season and we really welcome your suggestions.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Something I forgot...

I meant to add this to my post last night. Rick Owens' DRKSHDW. This hoodie fucking rules. It's like a druid hood. And the long, skinny sleeves are so punk. My birthday's coming up, you know....

Overly Tired; All Black

I've been awake too long to think of a subject for this post, so consider this a spazz sess.

Anzevino and Florence have done it again with this gargantuan silk cardigan that comes down to your knees. But you're not a model so your legs aren't about 12 inches longer than everyone else's, which means this cardigan comes down to your ankles. (Hobbit.) You know, this reminds me of the shirt/dress thing I concocted from three old black t-shirts... Cassie, your boyfriend made fun of me and asked if a fat man had been hula-hooping in my shirt; what that means I am still trying to figure out... And I didn't buy it for $268, I made it, so it was free.... But I digress.

This Fifth Avenue Shoe Repair dress also reminds me of the aforementioned hula-hooping shirt a bit... What's fun about this thing is that wearing it is like you raided the closet of a really tall guy with elephantitis on half his body... meaning half fits like a normal shirt, just really long, and the other half is incredibly oversized. It looks good the way the model is holding it, but if she let it go, it'd be down to her knees and I'm not sure how into that part I am. 

These Manolos are pretty fun. They are similar to the Burberry Prorsum heels from Spring 08 RTW that Rachel and I spent literally hours searching for on the internet. No decent pictures are available, so you'll just have to grab your glasses, go here and squint at the models' ankles. (I am so obsessed with those shoes that I am on the verge of buying some lower-platformed stripper heels, taking them to a cobbler, and instructing them to make me my own pair. Anyone know of a shoe-making class in Southern California?) This ankle cuff trend is reminiscent of electronic monitoring anklets. See Rachel's Bonne Annee post? Those shoes are very House Arrest.